Texting Trouble
by sharkinterviewee
Summary: Jake is having more than a little trouble texting Amy after he injures his hands. Light hearted Jamy with some strong language.


**AN: Don't worry about the code, translation is provided in the next 2 lines. Also this fic is est. relationship.**

* * *

Amy sighed. It really was boring without Jake at work. She had been able to stay and take care of him over the weekend, but she had to get back to the precinct on Monday. He was released from the hospital a few days before, but today would be the first day he was alone for more than an hour or two. She had been planning on calling him throughout the day to check on him, but they figured out he was able to text. At first Jake tried typing everything out but it took him 20 minutes and a bunch of backspaces to spell his last name. Luckily he was doing fine using voice to text, the hardest part being he had to angle the corner of the bandage on his hand just right to hit the send button.

Or maybe that was a bit unlucky because he had been pestering her for the last hour. Texting her how bored he was, over and over. He had probably sent her 30 texts in the past 5 minutes, so much so that she had to turn her phone on silent because everyone was tired of hearing her message tone. After about the hundredth 'I'm bored' he sent her she started texting back something other than comforting words.

* * *

Amy:

 _It's your own fault._

Jake:

 _was not_

A

 _This is a direct quote from you. "What are you gonna do? Stab me?" That's a challenge._

J

 _I didn't think he would do it_

A

 _Of course he was gonna stab you! No one would not stab you after you said that! I would have stabbed you after you said that if I was the one holding the knife. Just be glad you weren't more seriously injured. You are so stupid. When he started charging at you, did you move out of the way? No. You caught his fucking knife with your fucking hand._

J

 _What was I supposed to do let him stab me_

A

 _Did you shoot him when he pulled out the second knife? No. You dropped your gun and caught his other fucking knife with your other fucking hand._

J

 _In my defense there is absolutely no way to tell someone is ambidextrous just by looking at them_

A

 _It's your own damn fault. Just be glad you'll be able to hold a gun in a month. Maybe you'll think twice about dropping it next time_

J

 _My hands really hurt_

 _And I can't open the lid on my pain pills_

A

 _I left some out for you on the counter. I also set an alarm on your phone to remind you to take 2 every 4 hours because I know you'll forget._

* * *

Amy sighed as she waited for him to stumble into the kitchen and spend at least 5 minutes looking for the pills that she left that were undoubtedly sitting right in front of his eyes. She had actually left out a lot of stuff for him. A couple of glasses of water, pre made smoothies, way too much fruit (that he was never going to eat), and a spectacular amount of unwrapped candy. Since all of his fingers were gauzed together, it was nearly impossible for him to get some water or cook or even open a bag of chips. It was the equivalent of wearing oven mitts on both hands. She couldn't think of a lot of stuff that she could leave out in the open that wouldn't get cold or stale, so she went with candy. He would just have to wait for her to get off work to eat some real food.

* * *

J

 _Aw all that for me question mark thanks_

A

 _Question mark?_

J

 _Shit I thought that would work_

 _Seriously_

 _period question mark exclamation point_

 _Dang this voice to text thing won't do any punctuation marks_

 _Guess I'm gonna have to do stop like in those old timey things cause it is way too damn hard to keep pressing send at the end of every sentence_

A

 _Telegraphs. I'm surprised you know you're history._

J

 _That is literally the only thing I know about it stop or maybe something about submarines stop sometimes I actually paid attention in class if we were going over wars stop I know Morse code too_

 _dot dot stop dot dash dot dot stop dash dash dash stop dot dot dot dash stop dot stop dash dot dash dash stop dash dash dash stop dot dot dash_

* * *

Amy had to write it all out on a piece of paper to translate it

* * *

A

 _I love you too_

J

 _This would be unbearable if I had the safety feature turned on stop do you think it would just skip over cuss words or do a safe version_

 _like motherfucking guns becomes mother guns or mother fudging guns_

 _Now all I can think about is creating a gun marketed solely to mothers stop we could make billions_

 _Dammit Just realized that now I can't do emojis_

 _Shit now I'm gonna sound just like Gina_

A

 _Try it out. You never know._

J

 _Smiley face winky face colon p uppercase d uppercase x semi colon dollar sign_

 _Goddamn this is the worst stop what if I need to send someone and email address but all I can say is the at sign motherfucking technology man stop living in the quote unquote future_

A

 _Hey, at least you're still able to communicate. A few years back you would have been left lying in bed watching antiques road show for hours because we both know you wouldn't get up to change the channel._

 _So at least we can still talk._

J

 _Sorry stop sometimes I let my first world problems go to my head stop I miss you stop less than three_

A

 _I less than three you too._

* * *

 **AN 2: So hopefully that was fun!**

 **My phone is way better at voice to text, so maybe this fic takes place in 2014 or 2013 or whatever. I tried it out on my phone, and mine will actually do commas and exclamation points and question marks just fine. It'll even do :-) if I say the words 'smiley face' so that was interesting to learn. Every other symbol Jake tried didn't work, but I'll be ready for it when technology advances enough.**

 **Also, just to make your day, the stabbing quote from Jake is actually a real quote a stabbing victim said before being stabbed, this happened in real life:  
**

 **And as I'm just figuring out this website won't let you post urls, so I've broken up a direct link to the image. Or you could just google the words "what are you gonna do stab me" and it will literally be the first picture that pops up (of a news report on TV). Whichever is easier for you.**

 **imgur**

 **.**

 **com**

/

 **qwKqx**

 **.**

 **jpg**

 **Everything other than that one sentence is completely from my brain. I hope the whole texting format didn't make it unreadable, so let me know your thoughts.**

 **Have a good day everyone!**


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